When I Grow Up - A Memoir (2008 Book)
Juliana's book was published by Wiley in 2008.
It's still available at Amazon.
Spiketop has a set of photos from an LA in store session in September 2008.
The Boston Phoenix has Chapter 34 ('Windows'), which details the series of events surrounding her depression and cancellation of her European tour in 1995:
It felt like this time, unlike all the others, the cloud wasn’t going to dissipate. This infernal woe had spread its poison all through my brain and body, as well as the city and sky, and I couldn’t see any way out. And I had to go on tour. It was all planned and scheduled and arranged. I guessed going on the road would be no worse than sitting in my apartment waiting for the end of the world, alone.
It’s so difficult to describe a bad depression. Even if one could capture it in all its blank, dead horror, she would know that there was not really any point in telling anyone else. Talking about how one’s blood has run cold, or dry, or black, doesn’t bring any relief. It’s as tedious for the sufferer as for the listener. Telling someone is only burdening him with a big problem that doesn’t appear to have any solution: it hurts to be awake. The morbidly depressed person’s only hope is for unconsciousness; for the gift of sleep to free her for the requisite seven or eight hours each night. Even then, disrupted or stunted sleep is often part of the problem.
The New York Times has an interview:
"You find yourself approaching middle age, playing another scuzzy rock club, trying to hold onto your dignity, but the toilet is overflowed, and the place stinks of stale beer. I still have all the faith and love for my music and yet I’m still playing places for kids."
Juliana on Don't by Dinosaur Jr. from an interview offering a playlist of accompanying music to the book at largeheartedboy.com:
"It was maybe the most authentically tortured and anguished vocal performance I'd ever had the pleasure (or horror) to witness."
Juliana reading exceprts and discussing the book at Northeastern University, Boston, USA on 14 January 2009:
- August 1: Hoboken
- August 2: Philadelphia
- In the Woodshed
- August 3: New York City
- Angel Girl
- August 4: North Bergen to Boston
- The Interview Interview
- August 5: Cambridge
- August 7: Cleveland
- Big Money
- August 8: Columbus
- The Story of "My Sister"
- August 9: Indianapolis
- Cool Rock Boys
- August 10: Chicago
- Guns and Roses and Me
- August 11: Iowa City
- My Idol
- August 12: Minneapolis
- The Harpsichord
- August 13: Minneapolis to Kearney
- Hair and Makeup
- August 15: Denver to Wendover
- Jeff Buckley
- August 16: Wendover to San Francisco
- August 17: San Francisco
- The Telecommunications Act of 1996
- August 18: San Francisco to Los Angeles
- August 19: L.A.
- August 20: San Diego
- August 21: Tucson
- Begging to Be Dropped
- August 22: Albuquerque
- August 23: Albuquerque to Oklahoma City
- August 24: Lawrence
- August 25: St. Louis
- The Last Leg
- The Year of No Music
- How to Walk Away